50 Shades of...shite

I know that this is a bit 'behind the times' but I have been meaning to write this for a while.  In fact, I actually read the first book ages ago. Long before it hit the papers, the major reviews, and before it became a cult read.

When it comes to cult reads, cult movies, cult whatever, I usually like to have a watch, a read or a listen before I make up my mind and, well, trash it.  So, currently I am finally reading 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. A book that is deemed the 'second book to read before you die', second that is to the Bible!  So, when I heard about 50 Shades, I decided to have a read.

To be honest, when I first heard about it I didn't even know it was erotic fiction and now that I have read it I, well, I quite frankly don't know what all the fuss was about.  The first erotic fiction novel I ever read was when I was quite young. Funny story actually but it was bought by my Irish-Catholic Grandmother who didn't have a clue what she was buying me.  It was one of those books that enlightens you, and soon became a hit with my 14 year-old male friends at school.

I digress...back to the cult phenomenon that was, sorry, I mean is, the 50 Shades trilogy.  To me it was 50 Shades of pure and utter shite.  I hate to say it, as I know it has had such a huge following, but I don't get it.  The story isn't believable, the situation is laughable and let's just say, the first few 'erotic pages', totally and utterly unrealistic.

More to the point, the writing was dreadful.  After a while I stopped paying attention to the story and was more engrossed at how a book with zero editing ever made it into the hands of readers. Outselling Harry Potter, it has topped more best-seller lists than most books that pre-date it.  How I ask?

But what I find bizarre is that E.L James, author of the 50 Shades trilogy, gained her inspiration from the Twilight saga.  Books that I have to say, I am a huge fan of.  The Twilight books are a guilty pleasure of mine and I was devastated when I reached the last page of Breaking Dawn.  Sad but painfully true! But for those of you who haven't read the Twilight books, seen the movies or have been living in a cave for the past three years, they were written by Stephanie Meyer, a mormon.  Writing the vampire-based novels Meyer was very careful in how she portrayed teen romance and sex, with Bella and Edward waiting till their wedding night to, well, you know! So how 50 Shades of shite in all its Mummy-porn glory can be based on the true love of Edward and Bella, I have no idea.

I never made it to the other 50 Shades books...I simply couldn't get past the poorly-written-trash-littered-with-British-idioms-in-an-American-novel, that was the first book.  Sorry.  And don't even get me started on what it does for a post-feminist era. Did Sex and the City teach women nothing?   So, as the rest of the 50 Shades fans settle down to find out how Anastasia is 'freed' in the final book I will return to my four trusted friends, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, to find out about true female emancipation.